I miss those boybands days.

Remember, there was a time where boybands rule the world? N-sync, Backstreet Boys, Take That, 5IVE and the list goes on... Gosh I miss those days. Why? Because things were much simpler.

I only fell in love with boys from boybands. I swear. I had near zero real crushes. All I could think of is Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter, JC Chasez... It was so much simpler then. Because you know deep down that although it is impossible to get them, it would not hurt in the long run. They cant hurt you coz they do not even know you.

But it's not so simple in reality. When you fall in love in reality, every single thing could be a potential heartbreaker. The very possibility of things going wrong is what makes it hurts so bad. The realness of it all creates so much worry and paranoia. Sometimes, the mere thought of things turning bad makes me keep the distance. I've always have this mentality that the longer it is, the more hurt it caused. That's why in my past relationships, I've really never made the effort to keep the relationship going. I could not care less. Because I know those relationships wont last, and to spare me from much heartbreak, I pushed them away. And when they did end, I felt nonchalant. Like nothing happen.

But now, with Rasyad, it's a totally different thing. I find myself giving my 150%. And its the fact that I'm too deep in this that I worry unnecessarily. I worry if we don't work out, or he strays, or someone intervenes. I worry so much because I know i cannot handle the pain if such happens. And that I cannot act as though nothing happened.

And no, we're not having any problems. We are perfectly fine in love :) And no, I don't doubt him or doubt our relationship. It's just something I tend to think about. Coz I really treasure this relationship like no other.