Time to taubat babies.

Puasa is here. I was super excited for the fasting month. I really wanted to fast and beribadah coz i realized I sinned too much. But jengjengjeng. The time of the month had to come on the FIRST DAY OF PUASA!!! shitbag. The boy said that god dont want me to fast. ??????!!!! WTH. shitbag u. i squezze ur ass till it balloons up tthen u know. haha. but i still love u.


Well, tutorials are starting next week!! Finally, I'll get to taste real-life drama coz for the past two weeks, it had been only lectures. And I cant wait to meet my tutorial friends. I want that hot babe in my class please. She's so yummy. Even more yummier than the boy. hahahaha. I can just imagine his expression reading this. So far, I've been having fuck loads of fun in french class. Only i haven achieve that sexy french voice yet. soon.


There has been alot of drama lately. Those two blabbermouths should just shut the fuck up and mind their own business. For that immature b***h, I hope you know that ure one hell of an immature s**t. da 19 tahun, berlagak mcm 19 tahun. settle masalah sendiri. perkara kecik mcm gitu pun nak babitkan mak. da besar pun takkan lagi nak menetek. pegi dah. Org baru gertak sikit da nak start blackmail la, ugut ni la ugut tu la. Kalau kau betul tak salah, kau takya nak ugut-ugut ni semue. nampak sah kau takot, that's why u start all this blabberring shit about telling dad about stuff. in the end, its the 15 yr old that is matured enuff to call all this off. grow up girl. ure a young adult, but ure lacking of grace and manners. u dun even knoe how to ask for permission when using other's people stuff. where's your manners girl? didnt your mummy teach u that? sad lil egoistic bitch. I would really want you to read this but that's asking for the impossible coz u wouldnt understand a single english word I just said. takpela budak, kau boleh pelan2 carik makne-makne ni smue kat online dictionary. Lau tu pun kau tak tahu, mari aku ajar kau. type www.dictionary.com, pas tu type la perkataan yg kau tak faham. ataupun senang. kau suro matair spore kau translate kan. abes cerite. haha. what a joke u are.

The victim in this whole drama is sadly my dad. Sorry pak, u had to go through that monster's screaming. I'm sorry that u had to face all that embarassment. And thank you for being patient all this while. I love you dad, and whatever shit that life may throw at you, take it in your stride a persevere. like what they say, when life throws your lemons, make lemonade.I love you dad.


And im proud of my sister. despite being only 15 yr old, I have to admit she acted way more mature than the tag team of mother and daughter frm hell. they deserve shit.


and way to go to me coz im jeapordizing my own peace and tranquility by posting this. but i dont give a fucking damn.

toodles!

Je m'appelle Safirah

That's french for My name is Safirah. finally, after the 2nd week of school, I had a taste of all the five modules that I got. So far, french and english have been the ones that held my attention straight up. For english, its prolly because I dun understand half of what she is saying, thus I have to constantly look at her and hear her out. For french, on the other hand, is extremely fun and DA BOMB! maybe the interactiveness of the class keeps the lesson so interesting and motivating :) French is the sex! But im giving socio and cnm a second chance, so prove me wrong lecturers!

This post is dedicated to the man of my dreams

Sayang, it dont matter to me what your education level is, or how much you earn. This materialistic gains dont matter to me. Not at all. Yes, my friends have said that education and money are the most important elements of survival in today's materialistic world. So what if they say that? This is my life, this is my love, this is my heart. I would do anything to protect this relationship and keep it strong. And no issues, be it financial issues or status issues would pull me down. We would work hard together to make our fantasies a reality, alright love? And no matter what problems come our way, we would work them out together coz I know our love is strong enough to overcome anything. You and me, till the end (:





And please, dont worry about the guys at my uni. To me they're just sissies that would never catch my attention. You know me right, I like MAN. That's why Im with you, and no other.

How jealousy protects love
In relationships where feelings of jealousy are mild and occasional, it reminds the
couple not to take each other for granted. It can encourage couples to appreciate each other and make a conscious effort to make sure the other person feels valued.
Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. But when it's intense or irrational, the story is very different.


How jealousy damages love.
Sometimes jealous feelings can get out of proportion. For example, when a man makes an embarrassing scene at a party because his wife accepts an invitation to dance with an old friend, or when a woman is overwhelmed with jealousy because her husband's company appoints a female boss. These kinds of reaction can put a huge strain on a relationship, leaving the other partner feeling as though they're constantly walking on eggshells to avoid a jealous reaction. The jealous partner, often aware of their problem, swings between self-blame and justification.

-BBC

I realise that my jealous tendencies do get overboard and can get unreasonable at times. I dont want it to go to a point that it hurts the relationship. Help please.

Even though the day was menopausal and pissy and fucked up for me, I have two gorgeous people to thank: Angel for being there with me climbing, sweating and panting with me, and my darling boyfriend Rasyad for making all the shit go away. The shitty incidents during the day are no longer shitty with u around (; Thanks for picking me up from school and having to wait till 10pm.

The big kiss is for both of you. But i reserve the long, wet and passionate one for boyfie. (sorry babe, u have aaron. haha)

What to do when you are cash-straped?

Being a student, all i ever want is to focus on my studies and forget all about other issues. I hate it when i have to constantly crack my brains to try to keep my expenses controlled and in order. And by this, I dont mean having to control my shopping sprees and whatnot. What I mean is having to always, always make sure I have money to survive. You see, my allowance for every month is $300. Well, this would not be a problem IF MY DAD DID GIVE THE MONEY TO ME ON TIME. What he does is to put like maybe $20 every 5 days? tell me, how is that even insanely possible to survive uni life? Today alone I had to fork out $60 for my coursepacks and textbooks, and I have to fork out another $70 or so for the remaining books. And to top it all, I have to think about my outrageous hp bills, internet bills, laptop instalments, bus concession, and food. I wouldnt have to whine and complain if he puts the $$ in my account on time, then it would be easier to divide my money and monitor my expenses. Now, with money delayed or random inputs into my bank, how am I to do that. And this put alot of stress on me. Not only I have to think about my revision and studies, I also have to think about money. And Im so bloody tired of all that. At times, I feel like its better to just quit the fucking school, but I really want to study. Its my lifelong dream to have a degree, hell even a masters. And im freaking pissed that this money issue is the one hindering me to get to get to my dream. I'm really tired having to think about money all the time, when I should put all my energy on my studies instead. Fuck this.

Thank You

Thank You for being so patient and tolerant towards my selfish, childish and unreasonable behaviours

Thank You for always being my listening ear whenever I'm faced with shit

Thank You for making me feel so beautiful even though I'm bare-faced with sweaty pits

Thank You for making the effort to travel just for the sake of meeting me

Thank You for protecting me and catching me whenever I have my clumsy moments

Thank You for all your hugs and kisses whenver I need them

Thank You for your concerns and making sure I'm in good health and have my meals

Thank You for giving me the support whenver I felt I could not go on

Thank You for being both my lover and my bestfriend

Thank You for giving me you utmost trust, and for trusting me

Thank You for letting me be part of your life

But most of all, Thank You for loving ME.

FIREWORKS 2!

I think my fascination with fireworks will never ever fade away. I mean, fireworks are the same usual colourful, almost orgasmic, explosions shot in the sky but they never fail to awe me again and again. I shot a video of the fireworks but dunno whats wrong with blogger, i cant seem to upload them. Now I cant share with the world the fireworks that took my breath away. *sulk*

p/s: not trying to brag but my boyfie looks like kanye west in the 4th pic! smokin hot!

pp/s: Im almost there in mastering the dance steps in EGO!!!!! yaaaaay.

SURPRISE OF THE CENTURY :)

Yes, my brain almost came out from my nose when it happened. This was what happened. Me and boyfriend planned to 'date' each other on 8-08-2009 at 4pm. But at around 1.54pm, bf called and said he go out to buy food for family first. okay. Then at 3.05pm, bf texted saying he missed the bus and would arrive tampines late, maybe ard 4.30pm++. Okay, being the procrastinator me, I took my own sweet time to do my make-up and get ready. THHHHEEEN, at 4.19pm he texted me saying he is two more stops away frm tampines intg. !!!!!!!! wth. So, i panicked, rushed thru my makeup(didnt put on false eyelashes :(.) and literally ran out of my house. While walking to the lift, and almost tripping, i took out my phone to text bf to inform him i was out already and to apologise for being late(again). AAAAANNNNNNNND, that's when i looked up, saw my cute-as-a-button boyfriend, leaning against the staircase rail, holding a huge CHARLES & KEITH bag with the adorable smile on his face. I tell u, i stopped breathing for like 30 secs???


Here's the ultimate truth. Instead of going out buying food for his family, he was actually out going to WOODLANDS to buy me that C&K bag that i'd die for. And all the while, he was waiting for me at the stairs. So all that "will reach late.. and two more stops.." were all made-up. SOOO FREAKING SWEET sey my sayang. The anniversary present was one thing i totally adored, but the bestest thing ever was the fact that he went through all the trouble and forsaking his sleep to create this beautiful surprise for me. And to see him standing at the stairs outside my house like an angel was the icing on the cake :). I love him so much. I really do.

" I'm very happy to see you happy"

He is so sweet I feel like eating him up.

Fatigue and cramps- NOT A GOOD COMBI

Feeling super shagged after tonight's performance. Usually I'm not like this. I would still have bounds of energy after shows but tonight, I just felt so down Maybe its because of my on-off cramps/throbbing pain on my left side as well as my lower part of my tummy. I dun think its the time of the month coz mine just ended. So i have no freaking idea what it is. Hope it goes away with some sleep.

Anyway, above are some pics,(or should i say three) taken before the performance. I didnt have my camera with me so, i cudnt take any videos of the performance itself. Phone lousy, so i figured, what the hell just take pics la.

And i just watched a couple of videos on youtube on how to apply smokey eyeshadow as well as everyday eyeshadow. Its not that I dunno how to, its just that I want to learn the right techniques of blending and such. AND i realised that i seriously need to get a set of makeup brushes. So those who owe me a birthday present, maybe u girls might want to consider giving me SEPHORA vouchers. Or maybe Beyonce's tix. hahahaha. I seriously should banish the thought of watching Beyonce live. The more I think of it, THE MORE DEPRESSED i GET.

the stupid vomitting periods are back. Feel like puking but when I try to, nothing comes out. Which irritates the hell out of me coz i have to run to the toilet but nothing comes out of it. mcm waste of time and i so penat have to like keep drying my feet on the mat till my soles feel like the skin is about to peel off. I think i shud sleep more. Sleep always cure all this rubbish,hormonal issues.

NEWS THAT MADE ME SHIT IN MY PANTS (well, almost)

My all-time goddess BEYONCE is performing in singapore for F1 ROCKS! I ONLY GOT TO KNOW IT LAST NIGHT. yeah, i know. i feel like katak bawah tempurung coz some ppl already bought their tix!!! and i heard they are selling fast like hotcakes!!! I HAVE TO GO OR I'LL DIE OF GRIEVE. im thinking that if i save $100 frm this mth's and next mth's allowance, coupled with my HARI RAYA money (ye, dah besar pun maseh nak duit raye but i dun freaking care. ) maybe it would be enuff to get the $200 tix. MAYBE. i feel like merengek now coz it feels almost impossible for me to go watch her. GOD, please drop some moolah frm the sky for me and land them on my lap pleeeease. I'll be a good girl from now, I promise (:



Have you ever have the feeling that you should trust that someone with something but somehow, there's this tugging,irritating feeling that makes you think twice?

That feeling, my dear friends, is the suckiest feeling ever. The right thing to do is to let that person go. But this fucked up paranoia in me wants him not to go. I dunwan to put constraints on him, but at the same time, i'm a selfish bastard who wants him all to myself. So what should i do? Be the perfect girlfriend and let him go, or be a control freak ?


The right thing, I assume, is to be the perfect girlfriend. Its ok, i mean its only a night right? I can live with that naggy feeling for a night.

Sayang, i trust you. dun ever break that trust alright? Keep your word and i guess everything would be alright. I love you.

IT'S THURSDAY!

Goddamn freaking god, its finally thursday, The day that Rasyad comes out from that goddamn cursed place that keeps him away from me. No offense to those who mati-hidup serve the nation type of enthusisastic people. Hope he can skype with me later (:



Bumped into my older sister, MELATI, in the train today (: I've not seen her since last two year's HARI RAYA. Bloody long la. We exchanged numbers and she told me to find her on facebook. I did, and i realized that there were other family members who are on facebook too. So i added them. People like my older brother, HAN MISTI, my sis-in-law, FIZAH, my cousin HELMI and MAZLAN and anak sedare like IRFAN, AMAL AND RANIA. Plus lots more. Kay, I feel damn rude for just saying out their names without the respective ABANG and KAKAK in front of their names. Sorry. But this just shows how i've been missing out alot on my own family. The super close ones I've already neglected, then what about those sedare of sedares.. Lagi worst. I feel so.. bad. I shall repent for my past mistakes and go for more family gatherings. INSYAALLAH.



Ibu made a comment today. She told me to wear more heels or wedges and less of my slippers and sandals so that I'll be more of lady. !!!! What you mean by that?! It's not that i'm not lady-like when i'm in slippers or sandals what. Ask boyfriend and he'll tell u how lady-like i am. Hopefully. HAHAHAHA. But I've been having this obsession for wedges since god-knows-when. I'll buy one next month when i get my allowance. That's after paying my hp bill, my laptop installments and my internet bills. Hopefully there's a decent amount left to buy a pair of sexy-till-nose-bleed wedges (;.



And i seriously cant wait for the 14th and 15th of Aug. Like tak boleh sabar sampai nak gigit jari kind of feeling. HAHAH.



and the LALA from that day has finally made its effects known. My fingers are so fucking sore and itchy i feel like cutting them off. Pass me the damn chopper please!

Brown Eyes

Remember the first day when I saw your face?
Remember the first day when you smiled at me?
You stepped to me, and then you said to me,
I was the woman you dreamed about.
Remember the first day when you called my phone?
Remember the first day when you took me out?
We had butterflies although we tried to hide it,
And we both had a beautiful night.
The way we held each other's hand,
The way we talked, the way we laughed,
It felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one.


I know that he loves me, cause he told me so.
I know that he loves me, cause his feelings show.
When he stares at me, you see he cares for me.
You see how he is so deep in love.
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts.
And he's missing me, if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tell he's so.

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed?
Remember the first day we had an arguement?
We apologized, and then we compromised
And we haven't argued since.
Remember the first day we stopped playing games?
Remember the first day you fell in love with me?
It felt so good for you to say those words
Cause I felt the same way too.

I'm so happy, so happy that you're in my life
And baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me,
Showed me the true meaning of love
And I know he loves me.


He looks at me and his brown eyes tell he's so..


-Destiny's Child

Mohammed Riyan Rafique & Nur Mariah Natasha (;

Each second spent is timeless

When I'm with you, time seems to take a rest

No routines ever lay with us

Cause everything is new when you're in love

So delighted that you feel the same

You say with me you're never liable to pain

Never love another again

Through my eyes I envisioned you

Your love protects my every move

My life sways to your heartbeat

My everlasting love is simply deep

ITS OFFICIAL!

It's official that I AM AN NUS STUDENT coz i actually have modules to study for. wakakaka. now, im waiting to see if the latest module that im bidding for - evaluating academic arguments- is mine.. Hopefully. If so, then yes, i have to study for FRENCH, SOCIOLOGY, COMMUNICATIONS AND NEW MEDIA and ENGLISH. Tell me how cool is thatt? I cant wait for lessons to start proper, then i can finally put my brain cells to good use. Since they have been rotting these past donkey years.




Besides normal lessons, I have to juggle the three extra curricular activities which are the love of my life. NUS ILSA TARI (if i get to be part of them. *cross fingers*), TEATER TARI NAIM PANI and MR SEXY-ASS RASYAD. haha. Imagine, i have to fit 5,000 lectures, 987 tutorials, 54633 hours of trainings and infinity hugs and kisses in one week. okay, i may have exaggerated the lectures, tutorials and trainings part (but not the hugs and kisses. oops) but that's how my life would be pretty much for the next 3-4 years. I'll be extremely busy and i admit i may neglect my loved ones at certain points of my life but that doesnt mean i dont love them anymore. Remember that okay, shaikha sayang.

FIREWORKS :)

I've seen fireworks ten gazillion times in my life. But somehow, yesterday's fireworks that I watched at the top of MARINA SQUARE was somewhat more special. Because, it was with my sister kesayangan and my hubby :) It was spectacular!! AND.. we kissed underneath the fireworks. Just how i imagined it to be..

But before that, we ate at PIZZA HUT. Boyfriend challenged me to a eating competition. And guess who won? Him la. Bummer :(

PHOTOS THAT I EDITED :)