Girls Night Out!

Met Shai & Dayah after school. Went to Holland V, then to clifford pier, then to Marina square. I swear, from tonight onwards, WE HATE F1. super toublesome la! all the roads closed and all. assholic!Missed them like crazy. We had so much fun together. We ate, talked and laughed tilll our stomachs felt like bursting. I swear. We never fail to laugh till we tear up whenever we hang out. That's why I love them.

26092009

super fun day. me, bf and sister went to QUENSTOWN, coz sister wanted to buy this maxi dress. Nice, me like and me will "borrow" soon. hahaha.

After that, sister went to pasir ris to meet her bf while BF and me went our own way. Sensational exploration. That's all i can say :)

"You are a loving woman. Your value is far above rubies (Proverbs 31). You
are always there for those you love and you are extremely loving to your
husband. You... build him up, you allow him to make mistakes, and grow, and more
importantly you let him be a man. You will experience long-lasting love. "

That's my vow.

Sometimes, timing is important. You don't tell someone your deepest, darkest secret right after a shagging moment. That's suicidal.

Its time to panic when the past haunts you

The boy's cousin commented we look as though we're getting married. Was greeted as the bride and groom when we arrived at PAK LONG's place. How interesting. Maybe. In 6 years time ;)

First Day of Eid!

Surprisingly, the visiting went well. No "unanswerable" questions asked. Instead I was surrounded by lotsa beautiful babies. Made me feel like making one of my own. *coughs*. There was one cousin-in-law of mine who kept singing this ridiculous song to entertain his kid. It went something like "dee-boo-dee-boo-dee", or what the fuck it was, im not sure. It was hilarious at first but he went on and on and on, it felt as though the song is clawing through my soul. I thought fatherhood was suppose to make one a wiser man. So wrong.

But food was good, i ate like there's no tomorrow. I'm still munching now, at this hour. Hari raya is soo bad for my weight. Goddamit, but i love it. So sue me.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Okay, its 1230am now and it has been 30 mins in the syawal month. Still not feeling it. I wonder why. Exams? Maybe. Recession? Definitely. Man, the state of being broke really kills it all. But its ok. Am trying to save up for something special. Hope I'll reach my goal. So good luck to me.

Feeling a bit nervous for visiting later. Maybe because I've not been in touch with my family members, and to turn up for Hari Raya pretending that all is dandy is very hypocritical of me. But I have no choice. I still have to go visiting, on behalf of my mom. Good la, she got the easy job of just staying at home and layan-ing the guest that will bertandang at our house, while I have to entertain my relatives' questions and interrogations. Damn. I guess that's why I dread family gatherings. I hate to have to succumb to their endless questions. Especially those about, "Why menghilangkan diri.." and stuff like that. We did'nt MENGHILANGKAN DIRI. We're just very busy with our own business. No one's gonna help us when we're in shit. So we have to work so we wont end up in shit.

My eyes have been doing the squinting again. NOT GOOD.

Wish I was part of a tribal community. Then I can wear leaves and coconut husks in style.

Rain, rain go away. Come again another day

Today was a super-soaking, cold, wet day. Had to run across the road under the peltering rain, and to make it worst my sandals were super slippery. I almost slidded down the hilly road. Thank my lucky stars that I didnt get hit by a bus.

But my girl had it far worst than me. Just about 5 steps, her sandals broke and she had to run barefooted across the road. As well as hundreds of stairs to french class. Can u imagine, having to endure all that 15 mins before FRENCH TEST?? a total epic.

After the test, GF drove us to SCIENCE FAC to get a pair of slippers at the bazaar. thank god the slippers matched her outfit. So, the rest of the day went fine and proceeded as usual. Somehow, french tutorials was extra hilarious. Maybe it was just me being extra laughterable.

All in all, the day was full of ups and downs. Indeed, it was quite an adventure in the morning, but as the day progresses, it was heart-breaking. Had multiple miscommunication with THE LOVED ONE. I dunno why we've been bickering so much. I guess its my fault. I realised little little things get on my nerves easily these past few days. Maybe, its the stress. MAYBE its the time of the month. I dunno. But what I know is he did alot of sacrifices and he was very patient. If it was some other guy, he would have left. But rasyad is NOT some other guy. He is THE guy. (the guy for me that is ;D). so, thanks love for putting your ego behind you for the sake of our relationship. I really appreciate that.

Anyway, Raya is in two days. Do I feel the excitement and anticipation?
NO.

Death can be a stubborn bitch

MR KANYE WEST and his 3D glasses

Just watched FINAL DESTINATION in 3D with the boy. It waas fucking gruesome, though at times hilarious. My most favourite, gut-wrenching part was the mechanic guy part, where his flesh came through the barbed wire like jelly out of the mould. AND, the part where that cocky guy got suck into the swimming pool and his like gut and liver and stuff came splashing out from the sucker thingey. eeew gross. but i like :)





I guess we needed this outing. I mean, all the time when he's out, he'll be with me studying. He's fine with it but we still need to spend quality time together doing fun things. Like before.





We should not keep our LOVE LOCKDOWN, right MR KANYE WEST *winks*

I want to fly away. Away from the disappointment. Okay, set. Lets go.

Once upon a time, there is a couple. The girl would always call, or text the boy whenever she has reached a certain destination, be it school or when she's out with her friends. Because that's how the boy wants it to be. The girl is fine with it, but at times she forgets to text him as maybe she's rushing to school or she has too much on her mind. You know, thinking about presentations, assignments and deadlines. And at times, the boy would get upset about it, and would have his suspicions. Which sometimes would piss the girl off as she didnt do it on purpose.

However, the boy, who is out with his friends now, has not even text the girl telling her where he has gone for break fast, or where he's going after break fast. But the girl refuses to text the boy to ask his whereabouts. Because the girl expects him to do so on his own will. If the girl could do what the boy asked her to do, why can't the boy do the same?


The girl is waiting.. Maybe the boy has his reasons, but what could be so important that the boy can't even text the girl JUST ONE FREAKING TEXT to inform her. Low battery? The boy can borrow his friend's hp. So what is keeping him from texting? And So, the girl has come to a conclusion that he has forgotten. Fine. The girl would not get angry. The girl does not want to bring this up. She would just wait. The boy should know what to do if he's thinking about her.

Imgine if its the girl doing this. The boy would get so upset. Unfair, don't you think?

It's okay, the girl has better things to do anyway. Like her french revision. At least french would not disappoint her. Like how she is feeling right now.

Disappointment has made the girl feel like partying the night away. Rebel, please give her access pass and free flow of drinks. This would make the boy upset, but she cant care less right now.

And they live happily ever after. (Yeah, right)

MY OBSSESSION.

Beyonce is my obsession. I cant stop wanting to be like her, sing like her, hell even smell like her. Fuck it. I just uploaded my playlist on blogger and beyonce's song have like a kezillion pics of her and i cant stop salivating at all her fucking sexy pics. I know its stupid and unhealthy to constantly think about her, trying to mimic her every move. But I cant help it. I cant help fantasizing how it feels like to be as goddamn gorgeous as her.

Wish there is a special mirror where I can just say out the name Beyonce and I transform to be like her. With the juicy boobs and even more juicy ass. Hahahahahaa. Jay-Z would surely have fuckloads of fun shagging her. I know I would. Hahaha.

Man, I seriously need to stop this madness. I gotta stop being so superficial and wanting to be a size zero. And I always hate it when the girls that get on the cover of magazine are like super slim with cheekbones, no tummy and basically no fats. wtf. Yeah I always say I would not be influenced by all this. But at times, I cant help feeling wanting to be like THEM. I mean that's what society perceive as gorgeous and sexy. And every girl would want to be labelled as pretty, gorgeous and sexy, no matter how superficial it sounds like.

Fuck this. Like seriously.


And one more thing, i gotta stop saying fuck all the time.

THE INEVITABLE

Fighting and bickering are part and parcel of being in a relationship. Though its not nice or rosy to fight, its still necessary. Small fights like this show us what the other person means to us, and makes us treasure them even more. Through fights, we learn more about each other and in turn we grow more mature and closer. Hence, I feel fights help to enhance the feeling, reigniting the spark that would have gone out if kept stagnant. But im not implying that a couple should fight all day, everyday. Then that's bad. But I know of a couple who bicker almost everyday (not me and rasyad. we dont bicker everyday.) but still has an intense desire for each other. haha. I cant be like that though. Its too tiring, and I rather kiss my boyfriend than roll my eyes at him. hahaha.

At times, I wish I could just pack my bags and fly away. I dunno, maybe to bali or langkawi for a super short get-away. Get away from all this chaos and stress.

6 Girls and A Guy.

Fucking awesome night I had with my girls and my man. Went to Central Thai at Orchard Central to break fast after school. The food there was ok but lacked the spiceyness of real thai food. The, we adjorned to Max Brenner at Esplanade for a chocolatey good time. I realised that I miss the girls alot. And Im glad my boyfie got along ok, though he was abit quiet and shy. Haha.

Geylang outing

these photos were obviously NOT taken at Bazzaar Geylang or wherever Geylang in specific. It was actually in the toilet at City Plaza where we waited for our queue number at ARNOLD'S. Geylang was surprisingly boring. The same old shit everytime.

But I terserempak Qayyum, Aisyah, Mail and Din. Hmm, maybe there's a certain akwardness, but I'm very happy to see them after so long.

Will I ever be like her?

LETHARGIC

It has only been like what, 3 weeks? and im drained. I guess the readings are much more content-loaded, and coupled with the bombastic language and insanely mind-boggling concepts, they literally suck out my brain juices. I'm actually worried I'm unable to keep up. Kepping up is one thing, trying to master the content is another. I'm extremely worried. What if I'm not cut out for this? What if I'm not smart enough? What if I don't excel? What if i can't meet up to people's expectations? My tutorial mates secretly scare me. I mean they seem so knowledgeable, and always have opinions/views that are decently intellectual. Well, I do have views and opinions, but compared to theirs, mine seem like child's play. I'm having doubts about my abilities. Wish he's here to comfort me.


Anyway, I cant wait for buka puasa outing with the girls. I really miss them loads. I have to admit, I've been neglecting them. Sorry girls. No matter what, no matter how much time i DONT spend with u girls, I still love u. U girls are my pillar of strength. AND u girls have been there with me before Rasyad came along. I'll never forget that.


God, please make me smarter, with more energy.