Just had a FANTASTIC Skype session with Syad. The best session ever :))))))). HAHAHA.

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."

—Friedrich Nietzsche

I woke up today with a feeling I can't quite put a finger on it. I was feeling like something's missing in my life + I needed to do something + I needed him to be by my side. I really don't quite understand it. It's this heavy heart feeling, y'know. And I cried watching Style by Jury while having my breakfast.

I seriously can't fathom myself sometimes.

So, today's his first day of work and he was so stressed when he called me to talk about his day. Nevertheless, I am very proud of him for not giving up despite the difficulties he faced. My boy got swag yo. HAHAHAHAHA!

Dont worry okay. You'll be great once you master the task at hand. I'm sure of it :)

Happy 1 year 8 months and 2 days.

The amount of readings I have to do is INSANE



(and it's only the 2nd week of school)

Aww. He's gonna grow up to be a heartbreaker.

I have this extremely painful thing on the left side of my nose. I suspect it's a pimple disguised as nothing. I mean, it looks as though there's nothing there, but when u touch over, there's a small bump. Its fucking painful to the point that when I scrunched up my nose, my whole left side of my face feels bruised and my head aches. Fucking epic. Thanks alot, you stupid organism.

:))))) R.

I miss my boyfriend.

I don't wanna do anything with him, like go out and watch a movie or dinner. I just wanna smell him and sit real close to him till I feel his warmth transmitting through me.

" You must be here, with your body and mind united. In our daily lives, we lose ourselves all the time. The body is here, but the mind is somewhere else; in the past, in the future, carried away by anger, jealousy, fear and so on. The mind is not really present with the body. We are not really here."

- Thich Nhat Hanh, You Are Here

*heart stops*

Caught Season of the Witch and Centurion recently. Obviously, Syad prefered Centurion because it was more gorey out of the two. For me, I preferred Season of the Witch. There was more plot twists than Centurion. But I must say, Centurion fighting scenes were fantastic. The effects were better too. So i'd say Centurion was a better value for money.

It's been freaking 5 days and my fever is still on/off, my nose is forever blocked, it feels like a woodpecker is living in my head and my body aches like shit. Come on body, please stop being a weakling and start recovering. ARGHHHHHH!

So, school has officially starteeeeedddd. Today's my 2nd day, and I have a Media and Culture 4-6pm lecture later. This semester, I am taking Sociology of Deviance, Gender Studies, Social Thought and Social Theory, Media and Culture and the long-desired module Reading Visual Images. WOOOOTS.

I'm on a roll baby.

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

-Kahlil Gibran

My 1st 2011 cravings

1) Pizza

2) Sushi

3) Fro-Yo

4) Waffles and Ice Cream.

Gosh, someone pass me a towel. I'm drooling all over my Acer.

Cute, but so true.

She looks so serene, contented, happy. Like someone I used to be.

I need a getaway. But a bit too late hor. School starts freaking monday. Bleurgh.

"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."

—Elizabeth Gilbert

I'm guilty of this. Sometimes, I expect too much.

Yummy. Me want.

Why do you always get the last word. Why am I treated as though I'm the bad guy here when you were the one who caused this change in me. I was so much happier, but you had to do it. Now, I'm being punished as though I was the one who did wrong.

My depression mode is on. I need an outlet to let out all this pent-up frustration without anyone knowing. Not even him. Because I made the mistake of posting things here and ended up being the bad guy in everyone's eyes. They dont know the entire truth.

I'm doing another blog, one that only I can have access to.

This blog is still open for pictures, funny stuff and the occasional rants. But to express my innermost feelings, I have to do it elsewhere.

(I won't come to you to share. You would just make me feel worse)

You know at times your mind just wont shut up? I'm experiencing it now. Like, its over-analysing things. Thinking too far ahead. Expecting the 'ifs'. Making up scenarios that would just leave me bruised.

I wish I could just scream to myself to shut the fuck up.

I.need.reassurance.

3, 2, 1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Okay, so this post is late by 3 days due to 2 reasons. I had lots of errands to do and I was too lazy to switch on my Acer.

My new year celebration was spent with awesome people. There were 9 of us, ok let me recall. There was me, Syad, A'an, Amalia, a. Azam, Syukri, Boboy, Firdaus (??) and Whys (ok, i know this is not how his name is spelled but that's how his name is pronouced. Everytime I hear his name, I would expect a dozen question marks popping out of nowhere. haha. But he fierce. I scarded). We went to Siloso beach to chillax and to get PD. But we ended up going to the beach party. Hahaha. It was fun at first but i got bored after a while. Maybe because we went in late, ard 230am, so most of the party-goers had sizzled out.

ohohoh!!! guess who I met while walking to the main arena. MAISARAH MISKOON!! haha, so nice to see a fellow temasekian again. Then at the main arena, me and Syad met up with Syad's camp + ex-colleagues. By far, Shidee is the funniest camp mate of Syad's I ever met. LOL.

All in all, I had tons of fun. I realized I was laughing throughout the night, due to the boys' antics. Sadly, there are no pics. BooHoo. Coz my phone camera is very blurry at night and Syad's iPhone4 no flash. Kental. The only pictures we took are with Whys.

But we were all enjoying ourselves like this: