For Riyan

For Raisya

Can you believe it? It has been about two weeks since I last logged on the NET. I was so busy with dance, with the Batam trip and all. I'm still feeling tired from all the chaos coz I haven get my deserved rest. Ever since I came back from Batam, I have not stayed at home to rest for a single day, coz there were so many errands to run, many people to meet and etc.

To the extent that I forgot about our girls outing yesterday. Im extremely regretful about me forgetting about the outing. I just hope they would forgive me? I dunno. I've been M.I.A-ing for so long. Its inevitable if they're pissed of at me.

Okay, i knew my results already. Ok la. not my desired results but i guess its a good start for a freshman? yeah. so on to semester 2 people.

Anyway, the pics from Batam are out on facebook. too lazy to upload here. so if anyone wants to see. go to my fb page. got unglam pic sia, but nvm.

I'M SO PSYCHED FOR BATAM TRIP WITH THE TTNP LADIES!

This is disturbing.

I just watched tons of videos regarding celebrities who worship the devil and it freaked me out. Probably more so because most of them are about jay-z and beyonce. Many of you would recall how beyonce and jay-z always do that pyramid hand sign, and that's a symbol of the Illuminati. and there were so many reversed versions of Beyonce's and Jay-z's songs and videos that have satanic messages or symbols. Just coincidence?

And! The umbrella song by rihanna is actuallly saying NO GOD in hebrew and arabic.

There's just so many of such videos on youtube.

I dont know if they are just making them up, or they are haters of the entertainment industry, but there are so many evidences (though im not sure if they are flawed) that eventually changed my perception on everything.

And there are so many works on the ILLUMINATI that showcase how it greatly controls Hollywood, the government and Media.

What has the world become today?

And put this in mind, JAY-Z is the king of rap and Beyonce is the Queen of R&B. Dont you think their union is questionable? The video on crazy in love really made me thought hard about this.

And think about this, the songs we sing to with much enthusiasm in clubs or anywhere, they have satanic messages in them. Does that make us satan worshippers as well?

Go and watch "Beyonce, Sasha Fierce and Demon Possesion" on youtube, where it shows that the birth of Sasha Fierce (spiritually) is depicted in the Crazy in Love video. I dont know if I should believe it but it does affect how I feel about Beyonce now. I've been her avid fan since Destiny's Child days and it freaks me, saddens me and all that to know that my idol is such.

Its just that I'm FREAKED out by all those subliminal messages in her songs. To think that they have been my anthem for years. And I saw a video about how subliminal messages, over time, will drastically influence your mind and the decisions you make. Like they made a survey on those who listened to "Another one bites the dust" which has a message, when reversed, " I want to smoke marijuana" and those surveyed on did feel a NEED to get high.

I'm having shivers down my spine just thinking about it.

REBEL-ing.

Gonna party hard tmr night. Coz i deserve it. I goddamn deserve it after all the heartbreaks, the mental torture and the angsty tantrums. ( But minus the booze please. One extremely drunken night was all i need to learn a lesson)

Jungle-boy and I are gonna rock it out under the glittering disco ball, not giving shit about the world, leaving behind all worldly problems.

Wish me luck.


And to a bestfriend of mine who has lost a great figure in her life. Girl, be strong.. He is in a better place among all those loved by ALLAH. I love you.

I read somewhere that missing someone is not about not meeting that person since the last time u saw him but its when u do something and wishing that person is right there with u.

Well, then I dont know if what im feeling now is a feeling of missing someone or its just midnight blues. I met him like a few hours ago, hence this feeling is not about missing him. But, i'm wishing he is right here with me, but for no apparent reason, coz i'm not doing anything. So, does that count as missing him???


Heck, I dont care what the definition states. I MISS RASYAD. for no apparent reaon. I just all of a sudden have that longing feeling for him. Which makes me tear up. FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I swear this is the work of PMS. Damn it, I miss him.

Today was excruciatingly tiresome. Why? because i had chingay prac from 8 to 11 am and then rushed home to freshen up and had another malay dance training from 1 to 4pm. Then rushed to yishun to meet Rasyad and family. Had fun with them :) Funny people. made me laugh.. haha.

Well the underlying reason for why I am so tired is not due to long hours of training but because I had the ultimate workout yesterday. Rasyad and I decided to have a SMALL-MINI ( credits to Cik sue. HAHA!) picnic. But when we came, it started to pour. So we decided to find those pondok-like shelters to have our picnic instead. But the goddamn place was fucking full. No empty shelters for us. So in our quest to find a shelter, we walked all the way, from MacD's to Bedok Jetty! And still bloody hell no shelter. Was fucked-piss sia. Both of us. And guess what, we ended up picnicing at a void deck in TAMPINES. NEAR MY PLACE. HOW LAME IS THAT???!!! But we still had fun nevertheless :D But come to think of it, our luck is really suay to the max. coz of the three times we wanted gto have our escapade at ECP, those three times it POURED. Maybe god dunwan us to picnic. haha.

I realised i'm always the butt of the jokes during tarian. But I'm totally fine with it. Maybe because i upgrade from manual to auto la. then can catch the joke faster. so more interesting to be butt of the jokes. HAHAHA!

Well, today was interesting. For most part. I did alot of waking up, eating, reading, sleeping, waking up, eating and sleeping in the early part of the day. Then, Rasyad came over in the evening and we watched online movies together. It feels good that my family and him are getting along more by the day. Though the evening spent with him was short as he had to book in, it was one of those treasured moments that we take for granted at times. I mean, usually we focus on remembering and treasuring those dates where we go out for fancy dinner, do extravagant stuff and all that. But now i realised that its those seemingly insignificant meet-ups that add more colour and meaning to our relationship.